Page 14 HIGH GEAR

FINANCIAL STATEMENT

Greater Cleveland Gay Coalition (GCGC)

EXPENSES:

Gas

$184.80

Insurance

420.00

Printing:

(tickets, flyers, etc.)

806.97

Beverages:

(Beer, pop)

$1,032.50

Food:

(chicken, hot dogs,

corn, potato salad,

condiments, paper

goods)

$6,839.88

Miscellaneous:

(bank expenses,

flowers, decorations)

121.16

Grounds:

(lifeguards, security,

& rental of property)

$1,987.00

Rentals:

(trucks, tables &

equipment)

412.50

Raffle Prize:

(Summit Lodge trip)

Total Expenses

$12,041.31

237.00

INCOME:

Advance Ticket Sales

Gate Sales

Other Income

$8,246.00 1,143.00 4,368.23

Total Income

$13,757.23

Balance O.H. (09/18/79)

Donation to

GEAR Foundation

Balance O.H.

(09/26/79)

NEW

$1,715.92

$701.00

$1,014.92

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Essay

Gay male relationships

by Lee Thorn

This is a speculative, valueladen essay on relationshps, appropriate I hope to journalism while disclaiming any scientific basis.

It's been written that lesbian relationships are the most stable, heterosexual next, and Gay male relationships least. If that's true (and it fits my own observation so closely that I haven't bothered to examine the research literature) there may be a very simple explanation for it: males may be relatively inept at the social skills required to sustain intimate relations. In other words, the more women in the couple, the more likely it is to last because women have the social sense and sensibility to make it succeed.

Perhaps this is a gross oversimplification. It's argued, and rightly so, that monogamous relationships are unfashionable in today's Gay male subculture. The counter argument is that they may be unfashionable because at some level we realize our incompetence at sustaining them.

The ineptitude explanation appeals to me because it fits my larger belief that men are socially retarded in general. Let me expand on this. It's assumed in this culture that everyone will be heterosexual, that everyone will marry, that sex roles in marriage are complementary rather than identical, that men are more

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important and capable than women, that it's more difficult and important to compete in the world than to be sociable, and that, therefore, men should be trained as competitors and women trained as wives who can take care of the relatively minor social niceties. The result is the socially retarded male who rellies on his wife to manage his social life and to keep him from commiting social blunders. Another result is that heterosexuals often relate as couples with the woman working out the social details between themselves and later selling the program to their husbands. Divorced men often report extreme isolation from former friends and amazement that the friendship relationships only applied to them in their capacity as half of a couple.

The problem for the Gay male is that, having been socialized to be half of a heterosexual couple, he turns out to be missing his main social component. A lot of isolation results, but some special social institutions spring up to serve his needs. The Gay bar, the porn shop, the public john, each has a special etiquette that Gay men can master rather easily. The bars and porn shops have, I submit, facilitated the development of that etiquette (or social structure) because there's money in it. The johns have the simplest structure and the simpl-

est, shortest transactions. The introduction/seduction social skills required for these settings are irrelevant to the requirements for sustaining long-term relationships.

But before I address what I think of as the monogamy skills, I must first concede that monogamy isn't for everyone. Living single and having casual sex is exactly the right arrangement for some people. It served me fairly well for over a decade. The best way to find out about it is to try it. The monogamy skills that I see men as deficient in are caring, commitment and compromise. The communication of feelings is an important element in all three.

Our caring feelings don't fully serve out relationships until we can communicate them. For reasons that are more complicated than interesting, men are socialized in a way that makes it difficult for us to say, "I love you." My observations of stable relationships lead me to believe that the frequent, clear communication of that sentiment contributes to stability and reduces the importance or minor daily irritants.

Commitment is also difficult to communicate. We often assume that our partners understand the nature and therefore needn't be made explicit. Some friends of mine ran a business together for years with everything in one per-

cont'd on page 6

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